At the age of eighteen, Carla van Raay entered a convent to devote her life to God. By thirty-four she was earning her living as a prostitute. As a child, Carla van Raay experienced a truma that changed her for ever. Burdened by the weight of this terrible secret, all she wanted to do was survive. Life as a nun promised refuge from the outside world. Carla hoped to find love and understanding within the convert walls. Instead she became emeshed in a complex system of regulations that drove her to the brink of madness. -- back cover.